"Everything happens for a reason" is an easy catch phrase to tell the people in your life who are going through a tough time. But when a person is in the midst of what seems to be unbearable pain, it may not be the right things to say.
Is there anything you can say to a person who has recently experienced tragedy to make them feel better?
I'm not sure.
But you can offer your presence, your love and support.
They may not to be able to hear that catchy phrase that we've been programmed to spurt out when someone is in pain. They may just need a shoulder to cry on, literally, or they may need silence and a listening ear because depending on what stage of the grieving process they are in, they may be unable to listen to anyone’s advice about how there is a greater plan for them and that this is an opportunity to learn and grow. Although this may perhaps be the truth, they may not be capable of internalizing it.
What we need to do is LET THEM GRIEVE! Let them be angry, depressed, in denial they will find their way to acceptance eventually. They don't need anyone to come in to their lives to "fix" their problem. Please, if you know someone who is grieving just tell them you acknowledge their pain and are here for them. Be patient, be kind and love unconditionally.